The Gemmell Awards are tonight at the World Fantasy Convention 2013 in Brighton, UK.
And at the very least I'm coming away with one of these! How cool is that. I should certainly be able to wreck havoc upon some of my smaller foes with that baby.
Seriously, the world of awards want to sit up and take notice. Forget the over-sized suppository that the Hugos hand out.
Miniature axes are where it's at. And if you win the Legend, you'll be going home with an even bigger axe!
Some of the competition have some catching up to do. I'm looking at you HP Lovecraft award.
With all due respect that's a big ugly head I don't want on my mantelpiece... Now the Bram Stoker award has some charm to it...
...but then again it does look a bit like the sinister part of one of those twee china villages people used to collect, and whilst the Gemmell axe could be used to hit someone, you ain't gonna live in that.
So all in all, it's probably time the trophy makers upped their game. Axes are all good. Alternatives... how about something you can consume. A fine bottle of whiskey? A fantasy cake - I'd be in the queue for those.
Here's a Minas Tirith cake - feast your eyes, then your belly. That's the sort of prize I'd go for - and I'll have just the mini-axe to cut it with!
The Gemmell Legend Award (best novel) Shortlist:
And the Morning Star Award (best debut) Shortlist: