[I should also note I'm also quite often told I don't write anything like him. Both as a compliment and as an insult]
A Scottish blogger whose name, like the Scottish Play, we shall not speak, once flat-out told me I was lying when I said I hadn't read the Applecrumble. I'm tempted to call him a dick again.
Here's a picture of Joe. Handsome fella ain't he?
Anyhow, today I _have_ read something by Abercombie and have been influenced to copy it. I read Joe's best ever fan mail.
And it's moved me to share my own BEST FAN MAIL EVER [edited to reduce spoilers]:
I really think you are one sick disturbed person. I was fine with King of Thorns until I got to the chapter about ****. I got to the part about where **** was in the cart and then flipped the pages. Unfortunately I read the sentence "*******************************"
That sentence is seared into my brain and has given me nightmares. It might be fiction but it is just horrible. There is no excuse for this sort of thing. The torture of an innocent animal. ***************************. You could have found a different way to make you point. I took the book straight back to the library. I will never ever read another book by you as long as I live. I dont know where all this darkness comes from with you but you are
quite obviously disturbed. I don't care if you are with 10 kids and 5 dogs. Sick sick sick.
My reply: "Excellent choice, ma'am."
I'm not at Joe-level and I probably only get a 'thanks for the book' email every three days or so, which is enough to keep my spirits up and to warrant as personal a reply as I can muster. It would take a sight more 'attaboys' than that to stop me responding, but I can entirely get the point that there is a level at which a person would have to stop. I expect George Martin would get a hundred a day if his email was available.
The mail above was interesting to me for several reasons:
i) It embodied the Hollywood advice: slaughter as many co-ed teens as you want, but shoot a puppy and your film is toast.
ii) It brought home to me how differently people's imaginations are wired. Indeed how people without an imagination can mistrust those who have one - failing completely to understand how an imagination works.
The innocent animal (I don't recall ever claiming it was innocent mind you) was made of words. It didn't really suffer. Just because I can imagine bad things happening doesn't mean I have done or want to do those things.